


Numb Euphoria

by bloodstained_blackrabbit



Category: The Islands of Laoga (Podcast)
Genre: Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:01:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28847214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodstained_blackrabbit/pseuds/bloodstained_blackrabbit
Summary: !! IT'S A VENT ONE-SHOT !!I was sad and here we are. She's a little bit rough, so if it's a lot please don't read. Stay safe lil beans<3





	Numb Euphoria

It's an odd feeling. A feeling of peace. After so long of feeling broken, of feeling beat, battered and abused by the weight of existing, it's as if everything will be okay. 

The wind seemed colder up here. It wrapped around him like a frigid blanket as he climbed onto the ledge, letting the crisp air fill his chest. It almost felt euphoric.

Not understanding why, he heard himself huff a laugh. Even to his own ears, it was broken and hollow, but it filled him like nothing had in months. He felt like he was floating, here above the world, causing him to break into laughter once more. Elation? Was that the right word? He smiled, turning to face along the building. It started first at a walk, before he let the feeling build until he was running full speed to the corner, skidding to a stop just before the edge and letting the smile disappear from his lips.

From up here, even the city lights seemed smaller, an ocean of twinkling colors below him. Another deep breath had him turning towards the sky. A void of purple, punctured with bright lights shining millions of miles away. With outstretched arms, he closed his eyes and brought his foot forward. The bitter fingers of the wind...would they hold him up? Would he ride the currents out to the stars? Would he become a star, something children would wish upon, put their faith in and need? Or would he fall? Get lost in the sea of lights below, drowned like a sailor during a storm?

"Awfully poetic of you, these thoughts," a voice says from beside him. Or was it in his mind? He couldn't tell a difference anymore. "What would you prefer, hm? You can be whichever you want. Because we both know, you shift your weight and all you'll be is a broken body painted in red on the sidewalk."

Would that really be so bad? He couldn't stop himself from thinking. Maybe he wouldn't fly. He should've known his wings were clipped long ago. The city below was just that - nothing more than a bunch of buildings powered by electricity. Maybe it wasn't as gratifying. Maybe it wasn't as poetic. Maybe red is a nice color.

"Maybe so," the voice - his voice - agreed. "Maybe, letting go wouldn't be so bad. Maybe it's alright to be free. At least you wouldn't be alone. Do you feel free, Lance?"

Lance didn't turn. Even if he did, he knew there wouldn't be anyone there. He was alone. He didn't deserve to have someone to save him, to tell him that it was alright to just be. His little bubble of time was cracking around him, the feeling sharp and shrill like the silence before glass about to shatter. His breath caught in his throat, a sob ripping from his chest. Someone please save me. Let me be free. 

"Oh Lance. You should know by now that it's never going to happen here. You do deserve to be free. To be free from all of this." There was a pause, causing Lance to look over and see his own form watching him with soft eyes before turning them skyward. "Who knows, maybe I am wrong. Perhaps you will fly."


End file.
